Christmas morning came a day early to the Menard household.
Sam arrived home to hugs from Charlee, and she proceeded to share the joy of Charlee’s second Christmas with Nick. She openly took pleasure in watching Nick and Charlee open gifts and delighted in Charlee’s excitement over individual toys (and sometimes their packaging). More than just giving gifts, she took pleasure in surrounding herself with her two loves and soaking in their company, and they soaked in hers. She reveled in being a Mom; a wife. The house was full of the sounds of play because that’s how this little family chose to spend their time together.
I loved witnessing the little gestures during this session. Sam and Charlee cuddling while sprawled on the floor was a gesture I recognised from the family photos I made for them over the summer and it made my heart swell to see it repeated. I saw how Sam was still 100% a mom, from helping Charlee with her clothes to scooping her up when she fell. I watched Nick’s ability to pull Charlee in close and be oblivious to anything else and laughed at the sight of him scrunched into a toddler chair while colouring with a crayon. I joined in with the grossed-out laughter as Charlee licked the playground equipment and took a quiet breath at the sight of Nick’s giant hand on the back of Charlee’s little head. Sam sprawled out under the Christmas tree as she retrieved gifts will, for me, always be representative of this session: life was continuing on as normal for as long as it possibly could.
Sam talked openly about things that she wanted Charlee to remember about her, like her “neat freak” habits and love of sweeping, and once Charlee went for her nap, we worked on some music selections for her celebration of life. As I said my goodbyes, I expressed my hopes for her to receive the best quality care, and I left them to finish preparing for their celebrations with the whole Menard gang.
——
Sam and I teamed up earlier this year to start working on a few sessions together because she knew where this disease was taking her. Her goal was to make sure that Charlee had photos of them as a family; to ensure that Charlee could form memories of her from the photos and could have photos that reflected the joy that Charlee brought to Sam’s life in the too-short time they had together.
I’ve come to realise that one of the greatest gifts of my profession is being able to provide family photos that will last after a loved one is gone. It’s both the absolute worst and most comforting aspect of my job, and while it feels painfully difficult at times like these, I feel exceptionally lucky to be trusted to do what I do. Charlee, I hope that you can see how much joy you brought to your mom’s life; how much she adored you; and how much love you showered on her in your time together.
The best way I know of to honour people we care deeply for is to celebrate the ways they’ve enriched our lives. The magic of life is in the living, so I’m focusing on the way that Sam lived an exuberant, positive life.
Sam, you will always be missed. You were a joy to be around and a spark of energy in the lives of everyone who knew and loved you. Thank you for trusting me to help you with part of this legacy project you undertook, and thank you for sharing yourself so honestly with me. I share in the heartbreak of your loss with so many others and I celebrate the beauty of your spirit.
If you’re looking for ways to give back in Sam’s honour, she invites you “to donate to organizations dedicated to the elimination of cancer in all its forms, including the Ottawa Cancer Society, Canadian Blood Services, Ottawa Hospital Foundation and the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Canada.”
